MODNAHRIA'S NEW HOME (IN A SECRET LOCATION)

Last night, I took my friend Vororth to a secret location, the new home of my furbolg friend Modnahria. It didn't take me and Smurfy the voidwalker long to blindfold him with bits of old sellotape and I had to secure his hands and ankles with old bits of straw so he wouldn't try and take the blindfold off. With Vororth safely slung over my shoulder and unable to struggle, and completely at my mercy, I slowly set off on my journey, disregarding all thoughts of drawing rude pictures on his bald head. As we approached the main entrance, we were met with fierce rantings and ravings from the guardian furbolg but Modnahria was soon abated when she realised it was her friends who had accidentally set off the secret alarm she'd had installed earlier that day. The stupid Venture Co. engineers had got the wires mixed up and were coming back the next day to fix it.

Once inside, Modnahria helped me rip off Vororth's blindfold and bindings. Vororth didn't mind losing his eyebrows from the sellotape. "They'll grow back", he said. First we were shown the kitchen. It was very basic and very lovely and homely. A perfect amount of space to slaughter and then rip apart humans and animals without worrying about getting blood and crap all over the place. There was also plenty of storage space for lots and lots of different types of cookies. Modnahria also had a nice selection of cookie jars she'd crafted from human heads. "I got the idea from the Indiana Jones film", she said. "Y'know, the bit where they scoop out the monkey brains?"


Modnahria's Kitchen

I needed the toilet and so I followed Modnahria to the cutest little room of green gemstones I'd ever seen. As I sat down to go about my business, Smurfy insisted on still guarding me but he very politely turned his back after grunting once or twice. Vororth was very impressed with the decor and asked Modnahria where she got the gemstones from. Modnahria told Vororth that the gemstones were imported from a very special place and wasn't too keen on revealing the location of the seller as she wanted to be the exclusive furbolg with the bestest house ever.



Me Going About My Business

We were also shown the bedroom which had lovely lighting. Modnahria said that she was lonely. I said that because the bedroom area was very romantic she shouldn't have to wait long for a mate. Just down the corridor was an area that would be converted into a games room with a pool table and maybe some slot machines. Modnahria was also going to erect a front door as she was sick of all the adventurers traipsing through her house looking for quests and then leaving muddy footprints all over her expensive Silithus rugs.


Modnahria's Beautiful Bedroom

We had a lovely time in the new house and promised not to tell anyone the location. Vororth was told the location as he didn't want to lose his eyebrows twice in a row but he's very good at keeping secrets.

And so, we left Modnahria, promising to return soon for cookies and coffee and maybe some Rumsey Rum, and Noggenfogger chasers.