I was wandering through Ironforge the other day feeling a bit glum. Although I was having lots of fun with my Haven friends I really missed having a boy to admire and look at and give nice things to. I'd had a chance encounter with a new Haven gnome called Vintaro and we'd gone to Arathi Highlands together and on a remote mountainside, he'd shown me his hairy legs. I hadn't seen Vintaro for a long time though as he'd had to go on a adventure on his own. Considering I hadn't seen him for a few weeks I presumed he'd found a cookie mine and was now fatter than a hamster's cheeks just before winter kicks in.
Me and Vintaro in Arathi Highlands
Me, Puppy, and Modnahria in Eastern Plaguelands
Me glumly checking my post
I told my Haven friends the good news and they helped me decide what to wear. In the end I decided to buy a Festival Dress in red and yellow. It cost me a fortune but I knew it would be worth the gold.
On the evening of the ball, I spent so long getting ready I was ten minutes late but then I've heard other gnomes say that it's good to be fashionably late so I spent a bit of extra time deciding what perfume to wear. I decided against the Eau de Chat-Pisse that myself, Tia, and Modnahria wore when we went to get dates with trolls in Undercity (see post below). Instead I chose an old gnome perfume, the recipe of which is lost now so it's very expensive. I dabbed some behind my ears and then asked The Great Boar of Love to wish me luck.
My imp minion, Choham, said I smelled of poop, but I dismissed him before he could say anything else. Cheeky imp.
Choosing perfume with The Great Boar of Love
So I trotted off to the tram and made my way to Stormwind and I was very nervous. Vasyor was waiting for me and he looked very handsome in his tuxedo suit. He was very much a gentleman and bowed before me, and I curtsied before him. I'd never realised that human's scrubbed up so well (and I noticed he'd washed behind his ears as well). It's a good job he has lots of hair as well because if he'd been bald I would've slyly licked his head and left a trail of spit.
Vasyor bows
After bowing, Vasyor presented me with the most beautiful red rose I've ever seen and told me how beautiful I looked in my nice dress. It reminded me of when I broke poor Puppy's heart when he gave me a red rose and I tried to eat it. Poor Puppy. Pushing aside sad thoughts I thanked Vasyor and off we went to the ball.
My beautiful red rose
As we entered the hall I noticed lots of people had arrived already and were dancing and drinking lots of beer and wine. I made a mental note to myself to be careful when drinking otherwise I'd wee myself and be sick at the same time. I had to remember to act like a lady. I shuddered as I thought of the amount of booze I'd had at the fair with my friends Arcamedis, Arewn, Tia, Celimka, and Delenadra the week before. I could hardly see a thing but I remember seeing a huge ogre wearing a loincloth and peeking underneath it. Fortunately, I can't remember what I saw from the experience.
Entering the ball
As I entered the ball I saw my good friend Silvanius. I'd always admired his lovely green hair. As I hadn't seen him for ages I'd forgotten how tall he was, however I felt very proud to be Vasyor's date as he was still the handsomest human I'd seen so far (sorry Silv). Silvanius and Vasyor gave me some Pinot Noir and I regulated myself to one bottle per half hour.
Silvanius, me, and Vasyor
While this was all happening, I had a whisper from my friend Kirobaldy. He was at the ball as well having gatecrashed when he'd heard what was happening. I noticed his yells every so often asking where the beer was. And he's only level 20!!
In the photo you can see an imp but he's not my minion. I left him at home as I knew he'd insult everyone if he came along. Besides, he still had some of the housework to do and wasn't allowed cookies until he'd finished.
Meeting Kirobaldy at the ball
We found a nice place to sit and Vasyor and Silvanius gave me a deviate fish. I'd never tried one before and it tasted lovely. However to my surprise it temporarily changed me into a human!! Crikey!! I've never had long legs before so I made the most of it and danced a bit and resisted the temptation to /choo choo.
We're deviates!
Next, we all had to line up in a long row. I wasn't quite sure why but I joined in anyway. I was wondering whether it might be some kind of new line dancing thing however I soon realised it was because we had to introduce ourselves to the guild leaders. Again, being a bit nervous I brought out my Worg Pup as it's always therapeutic to have pets around when we're stressed and he'd never been to a ball before either.
Lining up
Bowing before Grummberg
As I walked back to our table I turned around to wait for Vasyor. As I watched him bow I noticed the muscles in his legs ripple. How amazing and I checked my chin quickly for any signs of drool.
Watching Vasyor's thighs
After the formalities were over there was a bit of entertainment from the other guildies. There were dancing cats and dancing bears and even though they didn't quite dance together in time they were still really entertaining, especially when they started singing. Have you ever heard a bear sing? Neither have I. It's a kind of cross between roaring, grumbling, and listening to seals.
The dancing and singing bears
After that Vasyor invited me to dance with him and we grooved to some 70s disco and then some Michael Jackson. I was very impressed when I noticed that Vasyor knew all Michael Jackson's dance moves. I was very careful to try and look cute and sexy and in my new dress. Fortunately, the dress has a secret pocket and I'd put some Worg biscuits in there so my Worg Puppy wouldn't go hungry and wouldn't be bored.
Dancing with Vasyor
To my amazement there was a horde at the ball. Although he was only around level 25 I was immediately on stand-by and thought that perhaps he was a seed planted by another horde guild who were planning to kill everyone at the ball. With this thought in my head I immediately summoned smurfy who shot off to despatch the horde undead.
Scout Amonsul attends the ball
It was fortunate for us that smurfy didn't kill the horde as it turned out that Amonsul (the undead horde) was in fact a friend of The Illuminati guild and was attending the ball as their guest. Just as I realised this, someone else killed the poor horde player and I felt very sad. So I went to sit next to his corpse to look after him until he'd resurrected. It was also around this time that my Haven friends Arewn and Tia arrived with dates. It was lovely to see them and Vasyor came to help me sit with the horde's corpse as well as other guild members, and my friend Arewn. Meanwhile Tia found a table and danced beautifully for the ball attendees.
Poor Amonsul
Soon it was time for Vasyor and I to leave. Vasyor was tired as he'd been fighting all day and before he left, he showed me his armour. He looked very handsome and strong. Before he left he bowed before me again and gave me a nice kiss.
Vasyor wearing his armour
I tripped home quite gaily and as I snuggled up in bed, slightly drunk, but still feeling like a lady, I thought about how I'd felt like a princess this evening. I'd maintained my composure for two hours and had managed not to burp, fart, or give anyone a wedgie, and I'd still managed to drink five bottles of wine. Yay me! As I drifted into sleep I wondered whether I'd hear from Vasyor again ....
Next post coming soon - Vasyor and Hala's Secret Love Child
posted by Hala at 8:16 AM
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