VASYOR GETS A SURPRISE

Vasyor and Me

Looking at Vasyor and me you'd think we make a perfect furbolg couple. On a day that I had gone home after a hard day's slaughtering I found a perfectly wrapped present on my doorstep, while Vasyor was sitting in the Ironforge inn and singing very rude songs and performing his striptease to the night elves. The present I found was very glittery and shiny and had a big label attached to the red ribbon that said, 'For Hala and Vasyor, handle with care'. Without waiting for Vasyor, I immediately ripped off the glittery wrapping, opened the box lid and out jumped an imp! As soon as the imp saw me he started shouting cheeky comments to her ("You smell like poop!") and pretended to throw fireballs at me, but once he saw I had cookies he calmed down. While he was eating those, I wondered who on earth had sent me such a strange creature? I'd heard old furbolg wives tales about the rarity of baby furbolgs, and about how they suddenly appeared on doorsteps or under bushes and assumed that in this instance, I was now the mother of a very strange but handsome looking furbolg indeed. I was meeting Vasyor soon so maybe he'd know something about the imp. As I was preparing to go out, so did the imp, who was suddenly sitting in the head of a goblin reaper. 'Strange', I thought, 'that such a strange creature could be ours.'


Me and Impy (he's wearing his fancy dress)

Vasyor phoned me to say that he'd earned enough cash from that night's striptease for us both to find a bigger new nest with an en-suite bathroom, and dancing pole for Vasyor to practice his entertainment skills. He also told me he was on his way to Arathi, so I headed there also, to meet Vasyor and their friends who were joining in the fight against the evil Horde. On the way there I started to think about what I was going to say to Vasyor about the imp. Would we still be able to afford our nice new nest? I hoped everything would be OK. Once we got there, I sought out my friends and very soon the battle moved from the bridge to beyond, far over into the Horde territory. There were still a few dying Horde bodies scattered on the bridge and we searched the pockets for cookies but to no avail. The Horde had scoffed them all. As punishment for being cookie-less, we ate the remaining Horde who were still alive but injured (and there were a few dozen of them as well).


We've barbequed and eaten the remains - look at all those bones we've gnawed!

All the bones had been picked clean. We also did a magic fire thing with our paws so we could barbeque some of the limbs. I secretly gave our imp some of the Horde eyeballs although I had to burst them first between my teeth so they were easier for him to digest. Next we found a nice place to sit and chit chat. I was having trouble jumping on the bridge post - I just couldn't get the height to jump (and I even tried to jump up in gnome form using my felsteed, Felicia). Vasyor was attempting to show me how it was done but we'd both eaten too many Horde to be successful first time. 'We've gone a bit fat', I said to which Vasyor sadly replied, 'It's my butt isn't it?'.


Vasyor jumped on to the post but he fell off

Eventually we managed to climb on top of the post, both in ournatural furbolg state and it was there that I just decided to tell Vasyor everything that had happened while he was working. Vasyor grinned at me and told me how he'd gone to see the old furbolg wives and ordered a baby from the rare baby furbolg catalogue as a surprise for me. He'd earned a bit extra one night with a particularly rowdy crowd of night elves. He was a very happy furbolg daddy. Then, a look appeared on his face as he noticed the imp's ears - a far off philosophical distant look mixed with curiosity, sadness, and a tinge of anger (an extremely rare expression only to be found on furbolgs). Looking at its ears, how could the imp be his? 'It's Nirr's', he said. 'You're more than friends with that night elf', said Vasyor sadly, turning to face the long drop to the ground below. I stamped my big furry paws, kneeled in front of Vasyor and declared, 'But it's you I love!' Secretly we were wondering whether his order had been mixed up.


I declared my love to Vasyor

'Noooooooooooo!' I shouted. 'Stop! The baby furbolg is yours!' But it was too late. Vasyor had jumped. I tentatively walked over to the edge, bracing myself for the tragic death scene that was I was about to face. My lover, dead. But I was shocked by what I saw when I looked over the edge. Vasyor had jumped to scare me, and he'd also survived. 'He's lucky he ate far more Horde than usual', I thought. 'At least his ballooning belly stopped him from hurting himself, although he could've gone 'splat'.'


I noticed Vasyor was overacting

I watched Vasyor come puffing and panting back up to the bridge with a smug look on his face. Although I was elated that Vasyor had survived I was still cross he'd accused me of cheating on him with a purple-haired night elf. At that point I ran behind one of the posts to hide as Vasyor passed me. I watched him check his furbolg pockets and change into human form which mean't that he was going off to the Ironforge Inn again to drink away his sorrows. 'I'll make him feel better about himself tomorrow', I thought as I changed into gnome form, and charged towards Vasyor, pushing him off the bridge and into the depths below, and watching him bounce on his belly.


I pushed Vasyor off the bridge - SPLAT!

There is a happy ending to this story. There had indeed been a mix-up in baby orders. We were reunited with our baby furbolg that had accidentally been sent to my minion, Smurfy, whilst she was on holiday in Gadgetzan. A very puzzled Smurfy had grunted down the phone about the strange event to his me. Eventually we decided we would adopt the imp as his stamina skills would come in useful during some battles and he also had a fire shield. They decided to call the imp Choham (although after today's events I was sure I'd been given another imp when I was a Level 6 in Dun Morogh).

A very puzzled Smurfy with baby furbolg