MYRTLE & HALALESET BECOME GIRL RACERS AND A COUPLE OF HOs

Myrtle and I are cheeky and sometimes fickle gnomes (almost 'tarts with hearts' but not quite - we do have a grain of respect left still). I bumped into Myrtle the other day when she had just come back from shopping. She said to me that warlocks were getting Felguards sometime soon, therefore, she'd wanted to buy her Smurfy a chair so he could sit down a bit more backstage when the Felguard was busy fighting. As she was her way back from the shops (after falling over outside the Inn and ripping a hole in her tights) Myrtle passed by the Mount Shop and saw the new warlock Dreadsteeds and drooled over the fact they were fast and fiery! The shop owner told Myrtle that if we wanted a Dreadsteed we had to go to Dire Maul, steal cookies off Immol'Thar, and then bring them back as they would serve as 'A Cookie On A Stick'. It sounded like an easy enough job and we decided to make a night of it and invite some friends.

We wandered into the Inn to see who we could find and who should we see but Lasombre, Adre, and Qilar, and his pet, Deadmeat. They jumped at the chance to help us which was great because Lasombre had just won his first disco dancing competition and he showed us his winning move.

Lasombre - disco-dancing champion (look at those thighs!)

Qilar and Deadmeat were currently unbeaten champions in the horde staring-out competitions. Tales have been told that Qilar and Deadmeat's stares have left some horde permanently cross-eyed.

Qilar and Deadmeat - those glowing eyes are enough to stop horde in their (smelly) tracks

Adre had just got a new cookie-scooping claw. She'd wrenched it off someone called Eskhandar (a corrupted furbolg) who'd stolen her cookies. Also, Adre's cousin Neriom had got a Dreadsteed a few months back so she knew exactly what to do in Dire Maul.

Adre - proudly displaying her corrupted furbolg cookie-scooping claw

So we set off to Dire Maul. Secretly I was crapping myself and had to stop for a nervous wee on the boat over.

Me having a wee on the boat - nice bathroom!

When we got to Dire Maul, we spotted lots of spirit elementals having a party. They had a big glowing disco light in the middle of them and they seemed to be having a great time! They asked us to join in as there was free food and booze and they couldn't eat it all.

Our first elemental party

Unfortunately for us it was quite late so we could only stay a short while. The man in the Mount Shop said that Immol'Thar got very grumpy after a certain time and we didn't want that so we set off again only to find another party going on upstairs. We were quite impressed by the way these elementals partied and, unfortunately or fortunately, for us we were invited to stay for a while. Lasombre impressed the elementals with his winning disco mood whilst Myrtle and I pretended to be backing singers/dancers. Unfortunately, we'd had too much to drink and we kept falling off our dancing podiums. I made a mental note to ask for dancing cages next time and Myrtle agreed. Qilar and Deadmeat, disappointed at the lack of horde appearances, watched the disco inferno and then showed off their practising winning stares to the crowd. After that, Adre, a bit drunk, did her party trick of scooping up 100 cookies in one swipe and then making them disappear. Everyone was extremely impressed and no-one could find where the cookies went to.

The second elemental party

We set off again, eventually, to see Immol'Thar. When we got there he was reeeeeeeeally grumpy and wouldn't give us his cookies. He said, and quite rightly so, "Would you like to get visitor's in your house at this late time of the night?" We were so sorry and apologised to him. He said, "Why should I give you rude little mortals my cookies when I worked so hard to save for them?" Adre magically produced the cookies she'd made disappear from the elemental's party and Immol'Thar's eyes lit up. He said he'd always wanted to try elemental cookies but the supermarket was too far away and he had a dodgy leg. Also, he couldn't get an internet connection yet to order any so he had to make do with pitiful hand-outs. Immol'Thar gave us his cookies and then sat down to sample some of the elemental ones he now had.


Immol'Thar was so happy he was a bit overcome and had to go to bed


Immol'Thar was so grateful for his cookies that he gave us a Dreadsteed, plus one free! Wow! So we both got one!

Our first Dreadsteed - buy one get one free!

We had a bit of a celebration and we all had a dance with Immol'Thar but the poor guy was a bit tired so he went off to bed and left us to it. We used some things we found in our pockets to decorate the place a bit and make it a bit more discoey. We all took turns in wearing Adre's bear paw and practised scooping cookies. We were only allowed to wear it for 10 seconds each though as Adre didn't want to be parted from it for long as it kept her right hand nice and warm and she'd already mislaid the left one.

Our own little celebration

So, we left a very happy Immol'Thar behind, promising to return one day with more cookies. We headed back to Ironforge, tired but also very happy. Before going to bed we had a quick ride on our Dreadsteeds and rode like boy (girl) racers around the Bank and Auction House.

Revving the engines of our new mounts

Myrtle, being a flirty ho, said we should try and impress boys with our new toys. We found our friend Vintaro who was on his old 1000cc Ford Fiesta-type mount and he was impressed and asked us both to come back to his house. We weren't quite sure why but I'm sure I saw a glint in his eye while he shifted in his seat.

Vintaro - sexy gnome, shame about the mount

We took his telephone number as he's kinda cute and I know for sure that he has nice legs. Off we went to bed, sleepily making plans for more boy racing and chasing, and trips to the inn.