OH WHERE, OH WHERE, HAS MY PUPPY POO GONE …. ?

Last week Arcamedis and I decided to explore a bit more of Netherstorm. We packed some nice snacks and drinks for a picnic, put them in a big backpack, and asked Smurfy very nicely to carry them for us.

Me and Arcy - firm friends

When we arrived, Smurfy complained a bit and said he wanted to stay back home and watch Cagney & Lacey reruns. I said to him, “You’ve already seen them twice before. Why on earth would you want to see them again?” He kinda looked a bit sheepish and seemed to be inspecting his new dress (made by my very good friend Lirn) and sniffling (Smurfy dresses aren’t easy to make so I was hoping he wasn’t going to drool and snot on them). In the end I made him take it off just in case it got dirty.

Smurfy's new dress - made by Lirn (a clever warlock)

I gave Smurfy a big hug and he said, “I don’t like this place, send me back”. I comforted him a bit more and assured him that we would look after him. Smurfy agreed to stay and began to chat excitedly to his new friend Bellos (Amaranthine’s smurf) using his new Shadowline telephone gadget.

So anyway, there Arcy and I were, happily killing things while Smurfy ate our packed lunches and spoke to his new buddy Bellos and his Unky Hydraxis on the ‘phone.

Smurfy's Unky Hydraxis

While Arcy was busy zapping away, I got an uncomfortable feeling in my bottom and mentioned to Arcy that I needed to pop back to Shattrath for a short while but I’d be back soon. He was happy about that and offered to look after Smurfy until then. So I arrived at Shattrath and just decided to quickly check my mail before heading off to the small gnomes’ room. I got the shock of my life when I read the following letter from Puppy –

Puppy's Letter. How sad


I was quite stunned for a moment and because I had my mouth open in shock I accidentally swallowed a bug. I quickly chewed it and swallowed and then the enormity of what had just happened just hit me.

Puppy was gone!! Oh noes! Even though he was on holiday there was no telling how long he'd be away for. I needed to find him and quick! It was then I realised I'd started to miss my Puppy Poo dreadfully. How sad.


Me and Puppy - aged Level 40-something

After the momentary panic I thought to myself, “Maybe he’s just kidding around and gone up to Netherstorm and Ivalice is another name for that place?” So I quickly summoned Henryetta, my Ebon Gryphon, and flew back to meet Arcy and Smurfy, with the letter tucked in my grubby pocket. I was hoping it wouldn’t get covered in cookie crumbles and toffee wrappers.

Happy times - me and Puppy playing


So I got back to Netherstorm and told Arcy what had just happened. He was stunned too and had his mouth open (a bug didn’t fly in which I thought was a bit unfair) when he read the letter and before immediately leaving to alert our friend Modnahria, he said to scout quick around this area, before heading back to Shattrath to form a plan of action. It was also at that time I remembered why I hearthed back there in the first place so after running around and shouting “Puppy??!!”, I flew back, went to the small gnomes’ room (phew! Just in time), and immediately sought out Arcy and Modnahria. (Smurfy was excited to be going home but he was also worried about Puppy and arranged to meet Bellos another day).


Caught short. Oh dear.


When I got back to Shattrath, I found Arcy waiting for me. He’d found Modnahria, who had immediately set off to find out what information she could find. Modnahria, being the High Chief Tummy Rubber of the Furbolg Tribe, has ways and means of snuffling for information with her highly trained wet nose. She had left a message with Arcy saying that I should meet her at a secret pond. She needed to cleanse herself of her human form and having me there with Puppy’s smell on me (not bad ones) would help.


Modnahria and I at the secret pond


After the cleansing ritual, Modnahria told me she had to go to a dark, distant, and dangerous place to perform cookie magics and hopefully get some clues as to Puppy’s whereabouts. Before she left however, me, her, and Arcy had a quick meeting in Stormwind and discussed some information she had smelled just five minutes ago. One of the vendors in Stormwind had secretly whispered her a clue and she shared it with us as we toasted marshmallows over a nice fire. The clue was to be found with Onyxia.


Toasting marshmallows and discussing plans


We all rushed off to find some furbolg friends to accompany us as we all know how bad-tempered Onyxia can be (and she has tasty cookies hidden in her whelp caves). Eventually, we managed to round up some furbolgs and one human to help us. “Safety in numbers,” we thought. And with that, myself, Arcamedis, Modnahria, Amaranthine, Yoshette, Odyl, Vororth, (and Impy, I let Smurfy stay at home) all padded off to Dustwallow Marsh, on our big furry paws (except Vororth. He’s not a furbolg yet, so we figured that if Onyxia got really cross, we could offer him as a sacrifice).

We all bypassed our houses on the way to have a last minute nervous wee, and get bandages. As I walked in my front door, I noticed Impy messing about with my picture box and taking silly pictures of himself. I immediately scolded him and said that he needed to focus as we were going on a special mission to find Puppy. “But he smells like poop!” said Impy. I sighed at him and he cackled to himself knowing he’d wound me up. As punishment, I scooped him up and zipped him into my pocket however I didn’t zip it all the way up so at least he could breathe a little. After struggling a bit he seemed to calm down. Licking my old toffee wrappers no doubt.


Impy's picture of himself


After half an hour or so, we reached Menethil Harbor and I suddenly remembered Impy was still in my pocket. I pulled him out and he looked at me with his sad eyes and said he’d never say anything bad about Puppy again. So I placed him on the pier and he was silent for a while as he pondered his actions. After I while I went to give him a big hug as I know he gets embarrassed.


Impy pondering. How sweet


When we got to the outside of Onyxia’s cave, we noticed some other people there. We asked if they wanted to help, but they said that furbolgs smell and then tried to steal our cookies. How rude! So Modnahria rawred at them and they soon ran away.


Trying to steal our cookies. How rude


We entered Onyxia’s cave and met her guards on the way in. We explained our predicament about Puppy and they felt very sad. They’d heard about his wit and humour and when we asked to see Onyxia, they let us pass with tears in their eyes. When we got to Onyxia she was sleeping and seemed to be dreaming about chasing something as her back leg was moving backwards and forwards in her sleep. Maybe she was chasing cookies. How cute! We weren’t sure about waking her so we waited for five minutes to see what would happen. Someone also had brought 20 Nagrand Cherries with them covered in chocolate to give to her.


Waiting for Onyxia to awaken


Onyxia was very pleased to see us and welcomed us into her home. She looked very tired still but after offering her the present and Vororth (nah, we didn't offer Vororth, just kidding!), she listened carefully to our tale of woe. Odyl even managed to impress her with his new set of brightly coloured totems and gave Onyxia one to serve as a bedtime lamp just in case she ever had nightmares.


Odyl impressing Onyxia with his totems

After thinking about our dilemma (for what seemed like an eternity), she said she remembered hearing something from the great and powerful leader of the furbolg tribe on Azuremyst Isle, Chief Stillpine. “That is where you must look next”, she boomed (we ducked the flame breath, phew!) “But it cannot be undertaken by any mere mortal”. As she said this she looked at me and said, “You are Puppy’s greatest friend, it is up to you to find a suitable person, someone who can speak the Stillpine furbolg dialect.” And with that, Onyxia said she wanted to go back to sleep some more, especially since she had her nice new totem to keep her company. With that, we bade Onyxia farewell and thanked her for her time.

We say goodbye to Onyxia

I immediately thought of my draenei niece Toluca. She is a priest and is Level 25 years old. I remember her saying the other day that she’d learned to speak Stillpine furbolg and had recently been hailed as a hero by the residents of Azuremyst and Bloodmyst Isle for doing a particularly hard quest, thanks to her druid friend Vaine, and her pet Lurky, and she’d had a commemorative picture taken to remember the day.

Toluca's commemorative picture



I was so proud of her


So, the next step was to ask Toluca to speak to High Chief Stillpine. We wondered what he had to say and whether he could lead us to more clues as to the whereabouts of our beloved Puppy Poo.


To be continued ……..

Part 2